This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
