i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
