My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
