Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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