This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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