We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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