I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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