its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
