you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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