It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
