Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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