it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my god I love twenty year old dicks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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