OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it because I queefed?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
