Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
