He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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