I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
