I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
