Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
