I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
be right there i have to get my cape
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
