I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
