He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
