erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
