And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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