I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
As shirtless as possible
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
