and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
