I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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