shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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