he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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