College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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