There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
