I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
