try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
