whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
