what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
