Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize