SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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