just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize