How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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