I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you traded sex for a burrito?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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