Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The power of my boobs compel you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
