i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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