OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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