I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
whose parrot is this?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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