My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
this is an emotional support booty call
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
