i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
