Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
