we're blogging at a bar
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
