He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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