I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
