so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
