He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
