Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
