Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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