Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
