That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
