there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there was a trapeze. enough said
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
