White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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