Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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