i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
