I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
