the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
