i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
