toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
