I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
